POP QUIZ! Which type of assertive are you?

Access the online Quizz here

Before I explain the different levels of assertiveness to you, if you want to find out where you tend to fall on the assertiveness “scale”. Fill out this questionnaire that Bianca and I designed together to see what tendencies you have. Bear in mind that we are different levels of assertiveness in different situations, so regardless of what result you have, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are ALWAYS like that. Also keep in mind that you can work on becoming assertive regardless of what your results are at this moment.

1. When someone disagrees with you, how do you usually respond?
1. Listen to their perspective and try to find common ground 
2. Avoid confrontation and change the topic 
3. Agree with them outwardly but feel resentful inside 
4. Argue back and defend your point aggressively 
2. How do you handle criticism or feedback?
1. Accept it gracefully and use it constructively 
2. Appear unaffected but harbor resentment 
3. Get defensive and feel hurt 
4. Respond with anger or counter-criticism 
3. In a group decision-making situation, how likely are you to express your opinions?
1. Always voice your thoughts and contribute actively 
2. Stay quiet and let others decide 
3. Agree with the majority but secretly disagree
4. Push your ideas forcefully, sometimes dominating the discussion 
4. How do you handle requests from others that you don't want to fulfill?
1. Politely decline and offer an alternative solution 
2. Give in to the request even if it inconveniences you 
3. Agree reluctantly and feel burdened 
4. Refuse bluntly and without consideration for their feelings
5. How do you handle making mistakes or admitting when you are wrong?
1. Acknowledge your mistakes and take responsibility 
2. Feel ashamed and apologize excessively 
3. Use humor or deflect blame onto others 
4. Refuse to admit mistakes and blame others 
6. When negotiating, how do you advocate for your needs and interests?
1. Clearly express your needs and preferences 
2. Agree to what the other person wants to avoid conflict
3. Agree to the other person's terms but feel resentful 
4. Insist on your demands without considering the other person's viewpoint 
7. How do you handle saying "no" to others?
1. Comfortably and without guilt
2. Feel guilty and struggle to decline 
3. Say "yes" but later find ways to avoid fulfilling the request
4. Say "no" bluntly and without regard for the other person's feelings 
8. How do you handle compliments or praise from others?
1. Accept it graciously and thank the person 
2. Downplay your achievements and feel unworthy 
3. Brush off the compliment and make self-deprecating remarks 
4. Reject the compliment and point out your flaws 
9. How do you handle personal boundaries being crossed by others?
1. Assertively communicate your boundaries and ask them to respect it 
2. Ignore the boundary violation and feel uncomfortable 
3. Make indirect comments or withdraw affection 
4. React angrily and confront the person aggressively 
10. How do you handle making decisions in a group setting?
1. Offer your opinions and consider others' viewpoints
2. Agree with the majority to avoid disagreement 
3. Say nothing but feel resentful if the decision doesn't go your way
4. Insist on your ideas without considering others' opinions

Scoring:

Count how many times you have circled answers a, b, c, and d. Write the answer in the circles below, to see towards which type of assertiveness you gravitate towards. Usually you are more than one type. Please do not judge yourself, if you are not 100% assertive. Perfect assertiveness across all situations is very difficult to achieve. In different situations, depending on our moods, and/or our levels of stress, we may be one or the other. Take this exercise to self reflect, and to be honest with yourself. Ask: Who do I want to become? Then, by being aware, you can calibrate and work towards becoming the person you would like to be.